Or I should say, she learns most things fast. The one thing she won't let go of, her diapers! And oh boy is it driving me crazy. I had high hopes that she'd follow suite with everything else and learn quick but no matter what I try she just won't do it. I bought her her big girl potty, let her pick her own panties, offered candy rewards, toys. I tried cold showers when she had an accident and even took the advice of one friend and made her feed the candy she would have gotten to the toilet when she had an accident. Still nothing. I know that she doesn't understand, but I'm not sure what to try next to get her to understand.
It's been a few months now since the last time I tried and now I feel like I'm just waiting around until she 'makes the next move' I guess you could say. Is there something I'm missing? Is there more I could do to help her understand? She tells me she wants to go potty. She seems very interested. She hates having her diaper changed and hates needing a diaper change. I'm willing to try anything so if anyone has some advice, that'd be great!
Oh Julia...I'm still in the midst of this battle today, and we introduced the potty right after age 2... so almost a year and a half now? But this week has taught me alot...along with the past year and a half. :-)
ReplyDeletePeer pressure is a wonderful thing when it comes to potty training. If she sees another good friend who is potty trained...make a big deal about how big that girl is, and how she could be a big girl too! This will get things rolling in her head because she will want to be the one getting that kind of positive attention.
She turns 3 in December, right? That means next year is Sunbeams. Try a tactic that my father in law did with my husband... Ask her if she wants to be the only kid in diapers in primary? She's going on to "big kid Primary" and how great it would be to not have to leave all the fun to have mommy change her diaper.(My husband was told he couldn't go to preschool until he stopped having accidents...so he did.)
Then when she understands how great it is.... that's when you have to crack down. Take away the diapers and just make her go without. It really does work... some kids faster than others. You may need to cancel all plans for 3-5 days and turn up that heat a little, but have her go bare bum for a while... if she's really ready, she will make an effort to go on the potty vs. the floor. You will have accidents, but it has been one of the most effective ways that we and many of my friends have found to get them to become independent of diapers. Sometimes, if Lexi was watching a movie, I made her sit on her potty chair the whole time. And every time she went... big big praise. When she has a sincere accident, talk her through it and help her to understand that she can always get your help before it's too late.
Lexi has been potty trained for over 6 months now, but I was always making sure she went at least once every 3 hours, whether she thought she needed to or not. This has resulted in a power struggle lately and some preventable accidents. So now I'm in the training mode where I have to wait until she tells me she needs to go...and she gets a sticker every time she TELLS/GOES on her own (toward a movie). If she does the "potty dance" but won't tell me, she doesn't get anything if I have to make her go. Today was a very successful day! So I would suggest that once she gets the hang of it, let her recognize when she needs to go. Otherwise, you are the one trained :-(
Potty Training is one of those unpleasantries of motherhood, but she'll come around. Stick with the rewards. Find something that really appeals to her that she would be sad to not get. I tried the candy, but she didn't care about candy because, like you, I baked better tasting stuff all the time. Now she has the chance to get a movie she really likes but returned to it's owner, and all she has to do is finish her chart. That hit home. Also, having to go through the second half of nursery in a wet dress (that I washed in the sink) and her sister's diaper didn't feel too good either. :-)
Good Luck!
I think when it comes to potty training we need to set our expectations low and celebrate the small victories. My son is.... *counting* like, 32 months and has been potty training since September and he STILL has accidents. Mostly when he is over at someone else's house and is shy and/or distracted. He still sleeps in a diaper.
ReplyDeleteYou are conditioning your child to do something, it will take time. It’s a process based on reinforcing the progress and positive. I’d stray away from punishing since it can send a confusing and negative association at this age.
Keep trucking. : ) We'll all get there!
I think both Angela's and Paula's comments/ideas are great. I'd just like to add that positive reinforcement is INFINITELY more productive than negative, especially if she hasn't quite caught on yet to what she's supposed to do. Like Angela said, it's a process. Expecting perfection, especially at first, and especially from a toddler, is absurd. We don't expect it from ourselves or other adults... why should kids be capable of it?
ReplyDeleteOne idea that I heard from a friend was to put the potty chair in front of the tv, park your kid on it with a movie and wait for the tinkle/poops to go in, then shower the kid with praise, so they understand that that's the result you want. Then try it on the potty. Once it happens there, shower them with praise and prizes then too. She'll catch on much faster that way, rather than not understanding what you want, then finding herself in a cold shower for disappointing you when she didn't know what she was supposed to do in the first place. In my estimation, it's better to give a reward for performance of a desired behavior, rather than to dole out an unpleasant consequence when the behavior is not performed. (Ex: giving candy only when pee goes in the toilet, rather than making her flush it every time she has an accident. Positive vs. negative reinforcement - *wink wink* Angela)
If you find after trying for a while that she's still not catching on, give it a break for a while, then try again after a few weeks/months go by. Don't give up!
We did try positive reinforment before anything negative, but perhaps not quite in the right way. Thanks for the advice, I think I'll give it a shot again next week or so with these suggestions in mind and see how she does.
ReplyDeleteWonderful ideas. My daughter has been potty trained since March. It was one of the toughest/most frustrating things I've ever had to do. My big break came while I was in the midst of potty training we were invited to go to Disneyland with my parents. So, I used the trip and her Grandparents as motivation. She sooo wanted to be a "princess" and to make everyone happy. It was the best reinforcement. When she went she glowed about how she had made whomever sooo happy!
ReplyDeleteI had also checked out the book "How to Potty Train your child in just one Day" from the library. It has some incredible ideas- throwing a party- some of those one on one exciting things. We would read books on going potty- one of her favorites is "How to Potty train Your Monster." We found it at Target and gave it to her for Christmas.
Now that she's potty trained and a "big" girl if she does have an accident she has to wear a diaper. I hate making her do it- but it sends the message very clear to her.
I know each kid is sooo different and it's easy -at least for me!- to become frustrated with their lack of progress but they will figure it out! It may just take some extra time!