The question is "How do I get my little 'helper' to be more gentle with the new baby?"
When we first introduced Sharon to the baby, she really didn't want to have much to do with her. Once we brought her home, though, Sharon wanted to help all the time. She frequently asked to hold her sister, but then would decide she was done holding her & would start to just push her off her lap. She also likes to help put the pacifier in the baby's mouth, sometimes a little more firmly than the baby likes. In order to keep Sharon from getting jealous and in turn being too rough with the baby, we've made sure to give her plenty of one-on-one parent time, include her with taking care of the baby, & ask her to help, rather than just tell her 'no' when she's doing something wrong. If the baby doesn't want the pacifier when Sharon is trying to help, rather than just tell her to stop, I ask if she wants to give the baby a kiss, or put a blanket on her, something to basically distract her from whatever she was doing that the baby doesn't like. Sometimes Sharon will be doing something, like throwing a ball around the house, that could possibly hurt the baby, but isn't really something she's purposely doing to hurt her. In those instances, I try to get her to do something else, without drawing attention to the fact that it's because of the baby, because I don't want her to get mad and take it out on the baby. I'm not sure if she really would, but I don't want her to think that she can't do anything just because she has a baby sister now.
